Without Faith, All is Lost

Last night I went to see the new Narnia movie with some guys, and I have to admit, its one of the best movies Ive seen in a long time. As some of you may know, the Narnia series is written by C.S. Lewis, a Christian who has written many books on the struggles of Christianity. In this weries, 4 siblings are whisked off to a magical land called Narnia, a place full of adventure, and a place where you find who you truly are. The land is ruled by a lion called Aslan, and the first movie in the series shows Aslan giving his life to save one of the 4 siblings, and then rising again. Sounds familiar, right? The series is much like that of the story of Christ, him giving his life for us. In this newest addition to the series, the "Voyage of the Dawn Treader", 2 of the siblings go on another joyrney, one to conquer evil, and to save eternity. Along the way they are tempted, attacked, and put through many dire situations, all to deter them from the final prize, meeting Aslan once again. Though I wont tell you the outcome of the movie, I will tell you some about it. First, it was very faith based, and has some amazing lines, most of which speak of fighting temtation, having faith, and being saved. One of my favorite lines was "we have nothing, if not belief" It was said during one of the darkest parts of the movie, where all the characters were beginning to struggle with the temptation around them. One of the charcters, a small mouse spoke up, and said that though the people around may have been having trouble understanding and believing, without belief, there is nothing. My own personal translation of this is that without faith, without belief, all is lost. Everyday we struggle with decisions, and everyday we struggle with the battle of if were going to give our whole day to God. The smallest character in the movie said it all. Without faith, we are lost. Without belief in God, without our trust in him to back us up, no matter what situation we are in, we have nothing.

We have nothing, if not belief.

"Never Again" The Challenge

Men are born men, with strong sexual urges and desires, and living in the world we're in today, its REALLY hard to ignore those urges, however as Christians, were called to. We know were supposed to save sex until marriage, not lust, be respectful towards women, respect their bodies, and our own, and live our lives free of sexual immorality. It sounds easy, but we all (guys and girls) know its not. How then?

Today, some of my brothers and I made a pact, and were calling it a challenge I guess. Through some conversation with the Champion himself (Jordan Sasser) and the thought of a previous conversation behind us, some male friends and I are on a quest towards complete sexual purity. We've picked up a book called "Every Man's Battle", a book about how to, as Christian Men, navigate our way through lust, immoral sexual desires, relationships, and through the rough waters of the media around us. We will be reading this book, looking for ways to help grow closer to God and how to live completely pure of Sexual desires and lustful thoughts and actions. Though we know we cannot avoid the temptation and the desires for sex, we are studying to completely ignore those nagging feelings and urges, and to live a life sin free and for God. If theres any guys out there who are wanting to take the Challenge with us, let us know.

PLEASE PRAY. this is going to be an increasingly hard topic to learn about, and we could all use prayer as we look to lead lives free of all sexual desires, and look to live a life with God in mind.

Thanks, Matt

Slow Down

Its been a hectic last few weeks, to say the least. Finals, tests, end of semester, projects, work, youth group, all of its piling up, and lately ive been having alot of trouble finding time for God. Even at youth group, I feel like im running around so much, I dont really get the chance to worship. Its been wearing down pretty hard on me, and today on the way home, I realized that now more than ever I need to find time for God. My time of struggle is when im most open to his word, and to his change

"Oh, im running to your arms, im running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough"

On a side note, my girlfriends a UNCW Seahawk now. Im so proud and so lucky to have such an awesome gal.

Blessings

Its been way to long since my last blog post, that I'm sure of. Lately with school using every possible bit of my mind, its been kinda hard to think of anything legitimate to write about. There has been something that for the past 2 weeks, has just been on my mind, and though it seems unorthodox to write about in a blog thats been predominately based about my faith, it seems to fit with the title; "the raw truth:wild at heart" And so I write.
I got home from South Africa almost a year ago, and I still remember the feelings I had. It was really hard to be home, to live at COH, as exciting as it was, because I felt like no one really understood me, or my obsessive stories about SA. I struggled in finding anyone who would challenge me in my faith, someone who would take the time, even though it seemed like the only thing I talked about, and listen to my stories about SA, and to ask questions, and to help me through the mental minefield of my head. It was a struggle. Often times, I wished I was back in SA, because it was just too hard for me back home. I clung to Skype, and to facebook, as if they were my lifelines, because, in all reality, they were the only way to get in touch with anyone who would actually understand me. That all changed.
I still remember getting a facebook post one day, from someone back home. It was one of the High School Volunteers, and one of the only people who would actually contact me while I was gone, everyone else it seems I had to contact. Over a few days, we carried on this conversation about africa, and about MS youth group. Little did I know, months later, I would be taking to this person again- alot. It was probably February, or March when we first started hanging out, thanks to Cam and his quote un quote relationship with Taylor at the time. Then bang, its sprint break, and im talking to her alot, and then im on a plane home from Puerto Rico, sick as a dog, and shes waiting for me at the Airport.
Most of you probably know who im talking about now. Caroline. If you had asked me a year ago if I would be dating someone right how, and would have been in a relationship 6 MONTHS, I probably would have laughed at you. It still seems crazy, and it all ways it is. I honestly dont know how to explain how thankful I am. Ive found someone who believes in me, someone who will challenge me in every aspect of my life, especially my faith, someone who can carry on a conversation about whatever it is im struggling with until we get to the realization that whatever it is will be ok, and all I have to do is pray and trust. She pushes me to be a better person, both at Church with the MS and HS youth groups, but at home, at work, and at school as well. Shes one of the strongest Christians I know, who fears nothing and puts all she has in the lords hands, and its honestly inspiring. Shes hilarious, shes incredibly smart, shes an extremely talented athlete, and shes got an an amazing heart. Oh yea, shes also drop dead gorgeous. I don't know how I got so lucky.
Ive never felt so good about life, knowing that I have someone supporting me, in anything I do. Its amazing, a true blessing.

Not to Another

Ive been laying in bed for probably like 21 minutes or so now, and cant get a line out of my head. It got stuck in it earlier when i read a post to a blog that my girlfriend and her/our good friend started. You can check their blog out at http://wastethedayaway.tumblr.com/

The line says "give us clean hands, and give us pure hearts; let us not lift our souls to another" Its taken me a while to realize that giving our souls to another, doesn't just mean to another person, but in fact to anyone, or anything other than Christ our savior.

In the bible study I lead, we've started talking about how to live life as a guy in Christ, and its brought up stuff that guys struggle with, a lot. Drugs, drinking, partying, sex, pornography, bullying, etc. Its also gotten me thinking about the fact that its not just guys who struggle with it. Its us all, especially with sex, drugs, and drinking. The ten commandments command us not to have false idols, the song says not to lift our souls to another, but what they're both saying, is that if we worship something other than god, were turning our backs on him, and what we believe. If we put our focus in things other than pleasing him with our every move, our every word, our every thought, then were not praising him. Were lifting our souls to things of this world. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that having a good time is wrong, or that Christianity bans having fun, but if our having fun shames what we believe, then yea, its wrong. Ill be honest, partying and drinking are fun. But if its not legal, and we do it anyways, then it shames the gospel. Lately, over the past few months, Ive seen a lot of people i know, some people i know really well, take a "turn for the worse" i don't want to be judgmental, but its hard to sit back and just watch, sometimes i just want to try and tell them that as fun as it is, its wrong. Ive made mistakes, and i really regret them. I want a way to be able to tell them how truth in Christ will "out fun" drinking and partying and getting high any day.

I have a hard time believing in things that cannot be seen or felt, smelled or tasted, faith, its hard for me. But anyone who believes will agree with me, that feeling you got, when you first accepted Christ into your life, that is the greatest feeling in the world. I'm getting "god bumps"(courtesy of Jordan Sasser) right now just thinking about it. Though our relationships with Christ are a struggle at times, they are fun, amazing, eye opening, and above all else, a blessing beyond our greatest imaginations.

Its time we, myself included, set our sights, our hearts, our souls on God. Not on another person, thing, or idea. Its time we focused on the center of our faith, made God the center of our lives, and gave ourselves to him, once again.

HE died for you, so live for HIM

I opened up to CNN the other day, only to find the headline: 138 Die in 48 hours. The story was about how in the capital of Haiti, a cholera outbreak had killed 138 men, women, and children in less than 2 days, and now, the death toll is over 200. What is even more astonishing, is how, less than a year ago, a devastating earthquake hammered the country. Its crazy to think about how much these people have suffered. First a massive earthquake that kills a ridiculous amount of people, and then this, a deadly outbreak of a vicious disease that is rapidly spreading, and leaving a path of fallen souls behind it in its tracks.
A few months ago, I sat with a group of people in my brother Nicks house, and we discussed suffering, why people suffer, and how suffering affects the world, and Christians. When asked why people suffer, my thought is that people suffer to bring them closer to Christ. Its a little bit weird if you think about it, that the God who created us all and who knows what will happen to us all allows us to suffer, but if you really think about it hard, if we rely solely on Christ in our suffering, and on no one else but those who will use the love of Christ to help us, then we can encounter anything.
When I think about my life, sometimes i "suffer", and by suffering, I mean, I get a bad teacher, or have bad luck on something, I dont feel good once in a blue moon. But if you compare to the suffering of the Haitians, my suffering looks like a stubbed toe compared to the loss of a limb.
Often, suffering is caused by a mistake, or some wrongdoing. Christ made no mistakes. Christ did no wrong. Christ came, lived a perfect life, and then suffered lashes from a whip, beatings with clubs and sharpened objects, carried a wooden cross twice his size and weight up a mountain while bleeding, had a "crown" of thorns shoved onto his head, had nails driven into his hands and feet, and then was stabbed by a pike. I think thats true suffering. He took our sins, paid the price, and died for us. He paid our ransom, all so we dont have to suffer. Christ died for us, so we can live for him.

2nd Corinthians 4:16-18
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

the riches of HIS love

life is hard sometimes. it seems like nothing goes your way, like nothing you do makes a difference. im at a loss for words. often, i feel like i get into some down, dark emotional state, where nothing can help. right now, yep thats it. on the way home from church tonight, i had time to think about life in general, time to just kind of think about anything. after a while, i realized that i had turned off the music in my car, so i decided to turn it back on, and in doing so, i thought back to a session that i had lead earlier. I told high schoolers that occasionally, all you have to do is open the word, and the answer will be there, but also to keep reading, because sometimes, if the first thing you see doesnt help, something down the road often will. So of course, i turned on the song, and thought, i better hear something that will help, because right now, lifes not working as well as i hope. and, of course, the part of the song that came on did nothing... a few minutes later, during the next song, the truth kinda hit me, right in the face. the cd that i was listening to was the newest by Hillsong, called a beautiful exchange, and the song was called Forever Reign. but what was being said, blew me away.

"oh, im running to your arms, im running to your arms, the riches of your love, will always be enough, nothing compares to your embrace, light of the world FOREVER reigns."

the riches of your love, will always be enough. thats all that really matters. In Christ, we have it all. love in abundance.

The raw truth, once again.

Its incredible, how often we get smacked around by the truth. Often the truth hurts, but every so often, we come face to face with the truth, and no matter how much it hurts, it helps.

Realizations are often uncomfortable, and it’s even more uncomfortable if someone has to help you get to certain realizations. I was having a conversation with a good friend the other day, about some stuff that had really been troubling me, and as I explained to her how it felt like I was looked down upon by others, she happened to help me to one of these uncomfortable realizations. Recently, after a year of living on my own, squandering my wealth, and living life to the fullest, I moved home. It was a disappointment for me, knowing that I had blown some of the freedom that I had. What also hurt me was the place that I was at mentally, and educationally. Through High School, I expected to be able to just get into a large, highly accredited university, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and I felt like a failure, like I was better than the place I was at, that I was smarter, smart enough to get into N.C. State or somewhere like it. But when denial after denial came back from schools, I began to turn on myself, and really think of myself as less of a person, less than maybe I really was. I stopped loving myself as much as I had, and it made it hard for others to love me. I realized all of it through one simple text: "Are you sure that’s not how you see yourself in comparison [to others]?"

Ouch. I won’t lie, it hurt. Maybe all along, it wasn't others seeing me as less, it was me seeing myself as less, and putting myself down. It’s not right, but it still hurt. Christ looks at all of us equally. He doesn't love any one of us more or less than another, and he is equally proud of our actions, and equally open to forgive our sins. That’s the raw truth, once again.

Like Precious Metals

Tonight, I once again discovered the reason for why I love to do youth ministry. I lead a 8th grade guys bible study, and it started out the usual way, with them acting like complete 8th grade guys, and me trying, but failing to get them to calm down, and to focus on the subject that I had prepared: evangelism. But in the midst of all of the mayhem, and all of the ensuing ruckus, someone brought up one of the most incredible things I have ever heard. He said that he had heard someone tell him once, that we, as Christians are like precious metals, gold, and silver. As some may know, in the process of making jewelry, the metal is melted down to eliminate the flaws, and to make it pure. And here in the midst of the farts, the ridiculous jokes and maniacal laughing, some one compared our faith to precious metals. It took everything I had to not break down crying on the way home, as I thought about what it really meant.
With our faith comes forgiveness, love and abundant grace. We are like precious metals, and Christ melts us down, and FORGIVES and REMOVES all of our mess, our flaws, discrepancies, lies, sins, and mistakes, and replaces them with his ABUNDANT GRACE, as we are made completely PURE in God our father. I am literally in awe. I have never been more sure about my future, tonight, my heart was melted once again. The beginning of the night we talked about evangelism, and in the end of the night, it was he who preached the gospel to me.

Humpty Dumpty

Everyone knows the story of Humpty Dumpty: "All the kings horses, and all the kings men, couldnt put Humpty back together again" This morning, as Sass talked about being weak, and how Christs redeeming love and grace gave us the strength to get through anything, he used the word Broken, and there, at that small word, the truth hit me. Things that are broken may be able to be fixed to some point, but nothing will ever be perfect. When I hear the word broken, I think of plates, glasses, cars, and other things that are broken, shattered, and wrecked. Then I think of the ultimate truth. Christ was literally broken. He was whipped, beaten, and mutilated; forced to break his own body even more as he carried a massive cross up a mountain; then broken yet again as he was killed by having his hands, feet, and side pierced as he was stabbed and nailed to a cross. The ultimate sacrifice, who then three days later, ROSE FROM THE DEAD, where he was put back together to testify to the grace and mercy of God. Then I think of us. We are all broken, and through Christs redeeming love we will be made whole again. Christ asks for us to give ourselves, and he will save us from eternal hell. He will save us from suffering beyond our greatest imaginations and fears, and he will give us eternal life, to live in the fullness and grace of our God. Humpty Dumpty was just a children's rhyme. This is the real deal. Christ loves us. He will turn us from being broken to being whole again. Thats the real story, not some children's rhyme.

The Least of My Brothers

Who are we? I think its a great question to ask ourselves, especially when we look at those around us. I had a conversation with someone today about some stuff, and the topic of someone being better than someone else, or someone being too good for someone else came up. As a student at a Technical college, often looked down upon by society because we aren't as skilled in school as others, or because we are coming back to school for many reasons, I know what it feels like to be looked down upon, and in fact, I look down on others often. WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE? We are all sinners. That is a fact. None among us are free from sin. And yet we judge others, we look down on them because we think we are better than them? Sure, some people have killed, committed adultry, stolen, beaten, and hurt others, but who are we to judge them? We do the same things day in and day out with our actions and our words. We are all children of God, who are we to judge our brothers and sisters? Who am I to judge that guy or girl next to me because they look different, or because they act different, or because they have sinned? I AM A SINNER TOO. I have no place to judge others. In John, Christ was confronted with a question from the the Religious leaders of the time about the punishment of a woman who had been caught in the act of adultry. When asked about her punishment, Christ said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Who are we to judge others when we are in fact guilty of sin ourselves? How dare we cast out those who are different than us and deem them as "less". We were commanded to love others as ourselves. Not to love those in our same societal standing as us, not to love those with wealth, or fancy cars, but to love ALL, especially those less fortunate than ourselves. In Matthew 25, Christ said 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' We are called to do for others as we do for ourselves, and im guessing its the same with you, 90% of the time, we will do whatever we can for ourselves. Think about how incredible the world could be, how amazing life change and transformation will be, how awesome people coming to know Christ by the masses will be if we can put the least among us ahead of ourselves, and to put the gospel ahead of ourselves, and use every breath to share the word of God as we are called to do.

Matt

The Reversal

Last Sunday at Youth Group, we continued our series on Be Different, this week focusing on Acting Different. I talked some about the conversion in Saul, also known as Paul, and how much of an impact it had on those around him, when this guy, a known Christian killer, began to spread the word of God to everyone around him. Now that I think about it, i'm kind of like Saul/Paul myself. If you really think about it, sin, especially blatant sin mocks Christianity, and when I think about how much I sin, its not a pretty sight. Then it hit me. How moving and powerful would it be, if I, a sinner, began to use every second of my life, everything I say, and everything I do to glorify Christ? It would be a major turn around. How would others perceive it, specifically those I tend to be the most flawed around? Would my actions prompt me to avoid situations where I know i'm more likely to sin? Or would I continue to put myself in those situations and hope to make a change in people there? I think specifically about where I work. I have nothing against the people I work with, most of them are good people, but none of them are Christians, and many mock religion openly. And yet Ive never said a word of it. Fear, I guess has kept me from speaking up, but lately, I've tried not to curse, tried not to become angry, or aggravated with people, and I've started to see a change in myself, and I hope that first through my actions, then through my words, other people will see a change and begin to be changed as well. I realize consciously that change is good, a life with less sin isn't just what were called to do, its a blessing to do. Today I hope to do the same, and everyday, everywhere I hope to do the same. That one simple thing, do as Christ did, nothing less. Its time for a reversal; Its time I actually used every interaction in my life to change someone else's, not to make myself feel better, but to glorify the God that has changed my life, who is changing my life. Its time for change.

Not Afraid

Our Legacy, what will we be remembered by?

This week, a good friend of mine wrote about our Legacy, what we leave behind. "I guess what im trying to say most of all is that we impact people so much more than we even realize.” That’s about as real as it gets. No matter what you do, someone notices. Even as young people, people notice us. Even as a failed student, who ran away from his troubles in search of the truth, even as a failure at being a Christian, some one notices. People watch. And its up to us to make sure that what people notice is really what were all about. This summer, at The Great Escape camp in Western NC, the speaker Jeffrey Dean spoke about being wild for Christ, and living every minute of our day for him. During one of the night sessions, Jeffrey said something that really hit me deep “‎"The greatest act of selfishness is choosing not to share the love of Christ with our world"

I think that so often, we are so focused on our own relationships, our own well being, and our own faith, that we forget what Jesus came to do. He came to share the truth, the truth that our God is almighty, that our God is strong, that our God is the greatest, and that with him we can do anything. And then, because we were so blind and foolish, because we couldn’t grasp the truth, Christ gave his life for us, so that no matter what we do, no matter how many times we fail, if all we do is believe, we are saved. Its beyond amazing. So why don’t we share him? Fear? Lack of faith? Foolishness? We are called to give everything we have to him. That includes the relationships we have with other people. No longer can we just go about our daily lives, giving Christ our spare time, or our leftovers. Its time I game him my all, its time I woke up every morning, and said today is Christ’s day, I will live every minute for him, and everything I do will be in honor of him and for his glory. Its time I stopped going to work, and putting on “work Matt”, its time I used my work to glorify him, no matter who I work with or what they believe. No longer can I go to work, and curse, put people down, and defy everything that I believe. Its time that I stepped up and actually used what I believe, used the strength and determination that God has given me to hopefully have a positive impact on life. Its time I looked to the future, and made up my mind about my legacy.

Today i'm thankful for quite a few things. Tomorrow, im going to see State kick some Cincinnati butt, and have a great time with some of my brothers in Christ. But what i'm most thankful for is the last 4 months of my life, and that someone who made them special. I love you.

In him,

Matt

Live life to the fullest, live wildly for Christ.

A few years ago, I did a book study with my bible study on a book called "Wild at Heart". I enjoyed it, but up until a few months ago, I had no idea what it actually meant. This summer I was a counselor for Grace Community Church at The Great Escape in Cullowhee, NC at Western Carolina University. The theme for the year was all about being WILD for Christ, and living wildly for him. I am a wild person. I am ridiculous, and its never ending. But what I'm now coming to realize is, that all of my wild ambitions, my crazed thoughts and spastic actions can be used to glorify my God. Pretty awesome, in my opinion. But whats even more awesome, is Jesus. He was a wild dude. He literally was all about turning the tables on everything that was normal., and showing everyone how to live without shame for God. He ate with sinners, he ministered to a Samaritan woman, and he turned water into wine! He was a wild guy, and through all of his time spent on earth, he didn't sin once. And yet its pretty clear, up until he gave his life for our sins, he was having a pretty good time! And he gave up all of his parties, his popularity, and all of his fame to be hung on a cross, ridiculed, and murdered. For me. He was mocked publicly, beaten literally within an inch of his life, forced to carry a massive cross up a mountain, then nailed to it. All for me, and the sinful life I live. For us.

Lately, I've been jamming to my new favorite song, its called "Make a Joyful Noise/I will Not Be Silent. I absolutely love the song. Its all about being loud, not being silent, and showing the world what you believe, and how incredibly awesome our God is. I love just blaring the chorus "I will not be silent, no, I will not be quiet any more" Its a call to live loud, and how how awesome our God is.

A few minutes ago, I saw quote on facebook posted by one of my good friends, and it blew me away. It turns out it was from a song. Its by a group called "Talmidim(The Servants" and its called today. And the lyrics are unbelievably incredible. This is what was said:"And through all of this there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, no fear, no insecurity, no doubt, no hesitation that will ever, EVER stop us, because we are the sons of the LIVING GOD, because we are the children of the ALMIGHTY, because we are the residents of the kingdom of Heaven, and we are soldiers in an army of the IMMORTAL."

It is incredible. Its never been more clear.: Live life to the fullest, and with everything that you do, live wildly for Christ, and with every breath you breath, praise him. AMEN.

Be Different: Think Different

Today at youth group we started a new series called "Be Different", and the first week was all about Thinking Different. Oddly enough, as I sit back now and think about it, and how it went, I cant help to think about Sarah Prince, and the courage and strength that she continues to show day after day in South Africa to her friends, regardless of what they are going through. Today, I sat down and read her post (http://caseyandsarahafrica.blogspot.com/) about her friends Antoine and Mathy and Auntie Katie, and for the first time in a long time, I began to cry. How can people with such faith and such determination go through such struggle? It really began to put things in my life into perspective, and how unbelievably blessed I am. But what really got me is the amazing truth that Sarah was able to find in her friends struggles: God is always there. She talked about how God allows things to happen to people because he knows they can handle it.

I did a devotion while in South Africa about seeing the writing on the walls, and really needing God to put it out there, clearly for me to see. Today thats what happened. Ive been to focused on me lately to even take a step back and see Gods beauty. But today, that changed. Sara's thoughts really spoke to me, and assured me that no matter what struggles we go through, no matter how much we doubt, no matter how much we struggle, Christ is always there waiting with arms wide open, waiting for us to come to him.

Im really excited to see what comes about in the next few weeks, specifically with youth group. We will be getting into the topics of Acting Different, Speaking Different, and Loving Different. One of the things I love about doing youth ministry is that no matter how much I try to teach, I always end up learning more! This week was no different. Its time for me to really think different, about my life, my future and my faith. Ill end with my favorite passage in the Bible, one that really helps calm my fears.

2nd Corinthians 4:16

"Therefore we do not loose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day after day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. "

Matt

The Beginning: Are We Really Who We Say We Are?

Life. It's wild, if you really think about it. It seems like such a blur, its always moving around us, and sometime it seems surreal. But when you really think about it, its pretty basic. We were created to live our lives to the fullest, using everything we say, everything we do, and everything we think to glorify God. And yet somehow, we cant seem to grasp, cant seem to master the basics. A few months ago I spoke at Grace's High School youth group about my travels to South Africa, and the fears and challenges that I faced. I left everyone with a challenge: "If being a Christian was deemed illegal, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" Lately, I have been far from guilty. I've always felt like I've been shaky in my faith, like maybe I haven't really been getting it. But then I realized it. I do know what being a Christian is all about. I know that Christ died for me, and for my faults, my flaws and my never ending sin, and that he calls me to live my life as close as humanly possible to the way that he did. And yet I continue to live the majority of my life in many ways that would shame this faith that I claim to have. So why is this? Unfortunately, I don't know. Maybe I'm scared, scared to give my all, scared to put my trust in something that I cant see. But I know God's there. I know that no matter what I do, and no matter how many times I go against the truth that Christs love will always prevail, and that I can turn to him at any time.

So I guess its time to make a decision. I will live my life for him. Thats it, plain and simple. I will go to bed every night, and say a prayer, thanking the God who gave his son for me, thanking him for the incredible home that I live in again; thanking him for the incredible brothers that I lived with and bonded with for a year, and for all of the love and compassion and incredible joy that they have given me; thanking him for amazing leaders, leaders who gave their all to show me the joy that they found in the Father, and leaders who led me to find my savior that I once again want to find; thanking him for an amazing 2 months in the prettiest place on the planet, South Africa, and all of the friends I found, and for the incredible experience that I had. And I will thank him for the relationship that I'm in now, the one I've been in for almost 4 months. I have the most incredible girlfriend in the world, and am often without words to describe how thankful I am for her, her beauty and her love. Day after day she shows me how to live my life, and I am thankful for her the most. I love her with everything that I am.

So I guess my question for you is are you who you say you are? Or are you like me, struggling to find that life line that we know is there. If you are, I hope that you will join me, maybe for your first time, or maybe its time for you to recommit like me. Either way, the incredible news is Christ is there, ready to love us, and ready for us to come to him. So its time for us to go.