Comprehending the Incomprehensible

Newton Elementary shooting. Today. 26 Killed.

Oregon Shopping mall shooting. December. 2 Killed.

Wisconsin Sikh temple shooting. August. 6 Killed.

Aurora Colorado Movie Theater Shooting. July. 12 Killed.

Elizabeth Malloy Killed in Drunk Driving. January.1 Killed.

Sampson County Teen Shot by Father. December. 2 Killed.

Kansas City Chiefs Player Shooting. December. 2 Killed.

Dallas Cowboys Drunk Driving Crash.  December. 2 Killed.

When faced with the incomprehensible, where do you start? Time and time again, we’ve been wrecked by the news of another drunk driver claiming the live of someone around them, by the news of yet another shooting, or stabbing, or murder-suicide. And again today, our country reels from the news of 26 dead, 20 of them children. And, again, as we do every time, we begin to ask ourselves why, even when we know the answer.

I was on the phone with a customer who had tickets today for a Nutcracker performance in Alabama. The customer was clearly not from the US, she sounded like she was from eastern Europe, maybe Russia, and towards the end of the call, she asked me if the performance was to be cancelled due to the countries mourning. She said, she didn’t know how things went here in America. The more I’ve thought about this question, the more I’ve realized how things are here in America.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this country. I’m proud to be an American, but, today, more than any other day, I’ve come to the conclusion that WE, as Americans played a part in the cause of this tragedy. Just think about that.

Today’s tragedy, these past, seemingly constant tragedies weren't caused by the unstable. Yes, they may be off their rockers a bit, but there's a deeper root, an underlying problem.

Our Culture, our people, our values, or likes have done this to us. We have done this to ourselves.

Our “stars”, or “celebrities” fool around, they sing about shooting it up, F the Police, their hoes, their swag, their drugs, their violence. We have developed a system, through valuing it and teaching it to our young that Violence, Killing, Revenge, Sleeping around, Adultery, Theft, Cheating is acceptable. Then, when an NFL player kills his girl friend in front of his mom, and kills himself in front of his coaches, its not so funny or popular any more. When a Millbrook teenager is thrown out of a vehicle to die because teen drinking and partying is encouraged, we wonder, why, who could have done this. When an NFL player kills his best friend because he’s too drunk to drive, we think, how sad. When numerous people shoot up religious institutions, movie theaters, street corners, and SCHOOLS, we wonder what has happened to our country. WE HAVE HAPPENED TO OUR COUNTRY. WE HAVE DONE THIS TO OURSELVES.

America, PLEASE. We have to STOP. We have to stop valuing music that glorifies teen drinking, music that glorifies sleeping around, violence, and a culture that says kill them if they wrong you. We have to stop valuing celebrities who bounce in and out of prison for killing people, countless felonies, drunk driving and possession. We have to stop making moves that promote unnecessary violence, and retaliation. We are causing this. We are. We play into this system that glorifies darkness, and wonder why when the night has come.

The only hope for us is that WE CANNOT FIX IT. That is our only hope. We cannot fix this death, this disease, this darkness. But there is a light, that burns BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN that is coming. Emmanuel, God WITH US. He has been born, he lived, he died, and then he conquered death, so that he could bring us, the dead, the diseased, the murderous, the sinning back to him in redemption. He has come for US.

So then, where do you start when faced with the incomprehensible? Start and End with Jesus, the only hope for our broken world. He has done it all. He is redeeming us to himself. He is Hope. He is light. He is LIFE.

Who are you?

On my way home tonight, I had a good amount of time by myself to think. Earlier this evening, I had the opportunity to attend the regional FCA Banquet for the North Carolina chapter of  Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Their guest speaker, Lee Rouson, a 2 time Super Bowl winner spoke about identity, and the importance of knowing the answer to the question “Who are you?”.
While I think the question “Who are you?” is a relatively easy question to answer, I’ve found that it’s a question with many different answers, and often times, those answers change over time, which, if you really think about it shows how complex the question really is.
If you’ve read any of my blogs, or if you know me personally, you most likely know my life is a little weird, and often hectic at times (and by often I mean always). Over the past few months, I’ve discovered more and more about myself, and through that process, I’ve often times become more confused and more unclear about who I am.
I am a man. I am a friend. I am a NC State Fan. I am a lover of hockey. I am a roommate. I am a son. I am a lover of the light. I am a brother. I am a hard worker. I am a Youth Leader. I am in incredible pain with a bad back. I am a fan of video and audio. I am a blogger. I am a lover of Chick-fil-a. I am a bow tie aficionado. I am brokenhearted. I am hurting. I am weird. I am joyful. I am too busy. I am too tired. I am overworked. I am a winner of musical chairs at a Canes game. I am burnt out. I am insane. I am a neat freak (sometimes). I am too quick to say yes to everything. I am a contestant and Honorable Mention winner on AFV.  I am easily taken advantage of. I am wearing my heart on my sleeve. I am down, but not out. I am, I am, I am. I am too many things. I am hurting, I am overworked, I am confused.
What I am, no matter how often I forget it, what I am no matter how often I don’t live into it, what I am, no matter what the world tells me I am, no matter what my peers tell me I am, no matter what my friends tell me I am, no matter what a girl tells me I am, no matter what you tell me I am is I AM GOOD ENOUGH. Not because I say so, not because you say so, but because the blood that poured out on the hilltop says so, because the ground shook, because the veil was torn, because the word was made flesh, because the promises were fulfilled because Christ died, because he defeated death. Because I AM a child of the KING. Who are you?

all we need.

I’m so thankful for other people who blog amazing things that push me to write.

The other night, I was out on the back porch with 3 of my 4 housemates (yes, I’ve moved), and we got talking about a handful of things like friends, relationships, and politics, and in the midst of our heated discussions and wild bantering, came one of the best conversations I’ve had in a while. We had been discussion politics, and going back and forth about taxes, and the party structure and culture and jobs and gas prices and this and that, and after the hundredth or so solution we came to, we finally hit the realization that (it took way too long to get here), though no matter  how hard we try to fix the system, rework the system, do this, do that, what the world really needs is some Jesus.

The last few days have shown me that more and more than I’d like to know. I’ve got friends serving in South Africa, and Ecuador, I’ve got friends and family friends with breast cancer, brain tumors, dying parents and physical ailments, friends with broken relationships, shattered families, abusive surroundings, we live in a world where Jersey Shore, teenage pregnancy, and drug use isn’t just reported on, its glorified, a world where our culture appreciates and boasts of the very things that are tearing it apart.

The reality of our situation is that we have a world on its knees, reeling, struggling to stay afloat. In a country as affluent and privileged as ours, we have way too many homeless, way too many struggling to put food on the table. We have way too many people fighting over their wealth, and no one fighting for those unable to have anything. In a world that has come as far along as ours, we still have people blowing each other up in the middle east, police killing miners in South Africa when they protest for living wages, North Koreans under a military style dictatorship rule, Russians and Belarusians living in fear of the government. For what we claim to be able to do with our technological, our agricultural, our social advances, we have a world in shambles and in ruin.

And today, the same as every other day, its clear that we need Christ to come, to make all things new, to free us from this mess that we have made. Because no matter how hard we fight, no matter how hard we try, we will never be good enough. We will never measure up. We will never fix anything. But, in the midst of this darkness, there is light. In the midst of our messes, our fears, our troubles, our tears there is a God who has overcome it all to bring us life. There is a God who has come to bring us a freedom. There is a God who has come to give us his truths, so that we might live in them. There is a God who came, died, and defeated death so that we might live in his place. And he is ALL we need.

In Memory Of Andy Delbridge

Yesterday evening, I attended a funeral service for a man I had never met. His name was Andy Delbridge, a nine and a half year cancer fighter, a husband, a father, a man of God.

As I sat and watched and listened to numerous pastors, friends, and family members speak about Andy, I learned more about Andy, and more about myself. Grace Hall was packed. Like really packed. Packed with the number of people you would expect to see on the big Christmas Eve service, plus a few more people. My guess is that, like me, many people there had never met Andy personally. You see, Andy was a devoted member of Grace Community Church. Every few weeks, we would hear something new about him, how he was doing, how things were going in his fight. His two sons, Drew and Kenan both attend our youth group, and his wife, Nancy is also a member of the church. The number of people who attended the service alone is a testament to the character of Andy Delbridge. He loved people he had never met, he was an inspiration to all, he fought for others fighting the same things as himself. (http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/amazing/Andy_Delbridge032307.aspx). Andy loved, lived, and died as a servant. And this shows most in the lives of his nearest family members.

Towards the end of the service, Nancy, Drew, and Kenan all spoke. They, like many others who came before him, spoke of their fathers love for them, his unfaltering faith, his devotion, his status as a hero. They encouraged all of us teary eyed, sniffling people, by standing up, fighting their own fears, sadness, etc.

Today, I am encouraged.

On Leaving a Legacy, and Finding Hope in an Often Hopeless World : A response to Marina Keegan

I came across an article today written by a young woman my age who just graduated from Yale. (http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/2012/may/27/keegan-opposite-loneliness/) She wrote this piece for the special edition the Yale Newspaper does during graduation week every year, and then tragically passed away a few days later. I'll be honest, when I saw the post labeled "Student's moving final essay" on Yahoo!, I almost passed it by, but thought she was cute, and figured I would look into it. Little did I know, her final piece really was a piece shortly followed by finality, little did I know, it would shake me to my core.

If I had to be honest, and I will, its been a long past few months. Over the past year, my life has changed drastically, and over the past few months, the changes have begun to affect me in new ways, some often depressing, and painful. I've found myself struggling with wondering whether what I do really matters, struggling with thinking I'm not actually as valuable, or as important, or as necessary as I thought. About a month ago, Grace High School youth group started a series it does every year called "Leaving a Legacy", and I've been thinking more and more about what I've left behind, but even more than me contemplating if my legacy is moving or not, I've thought nonstop about where it is I'm going. I've found that I'm reasonably comfortable with where I've been, I've traveled to South Africa, South America, all over the U.S,  done missions, ministry, food service work, ticketing work. I've laughed, I've cried, and occasionally, I've had a pretty good time, but I find that I still question where it is I'm headed. I feel like I've been caught in this lull, doing the same thing day in and day out, never progressing very far, I'ts like I'm like the guinea pig running in the wheel, exhausting every effort and opportunity, constantly in motion, but never getting anywhere.

As Marina Keegan put it, "We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life."

Though I'm always in motion, constantly surrounded by people working, singing, driving, drinking, swimming, yelling, talking, moving, I often find I loose myself in the midst of the bustle, and feel alone, like I'm moving along in some sort of bubble, able to interact with those around me, but never able to fully connect. Sure, I have really close friends, and as they move away, even for short periods of time, or as they begin to progress "farther" along in life, it feels like it only gets harder. I spend time with them, with other friends, with family, but feel like sometimes, I'm just moving, going through the motions, unable to snap out of this sort of perpetual motion.

What I want in life is what I hope awaits me (obviously). A wife, a family, a steady income, vacations, kids, a job I love (pretty sure I've found that one). For now, I know what I have to do. Leave a Legacy. Without even knowing it, Marina Keegan lived life, never knowing her last days were quickly approaching, and affected peoples lives. My hope, aside from my dreams and desires for life, is that through my writing, which will hopefully become more and more regular will affect others as Marina's has affected me. And eventually, I'll find that definition for the opposite of lonliness.

for his glory alone.

This weekend, I’m speaking at Middle Youth Group on the story of the man born blind. In the passage from John 9, some of Christ’s disciples ask Christ if someone had sinned for the man to have been born blind. Christ replies with this:

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

It is often hard to understand seeing glory, and seeing God in the midst of sad, or dark situations. Last Sunday night, one of my friends lost his father to an unexpected heart attack. Ben Taylor, the son of the man who passed was a member of the band at one of our retreats a few months ago. Though I do not know him as well as I would like, I have been amazed at his faith, his perseverance, and his steadfast devotion to the Lord in the midst of such a hard situation. He has tweeted, facebooked, and written verses of encouragement, verses of his devotion, and has shown that in the midst of trials, in the midst of death, sadness, and despair, that his allegiance lies in the Lord, and in him alone, and that through this situation, he sees and trusts that the works of God are being displayed, and that they are part of the plan. It is so encouraging to see someone with such love for Christ, that in the midst of one of the hardest situations I can imagine, he still gives God the glory, and still trusts in him for his hope, and for his strength.

All this Glory.

“In the middle of the mess, there is majesty. In the middle of my chest, is the king of Kings. While the world was waiting on, the chains have come undone, light rolled in… Coming like a song. All this Glory, All this Glory, oh, All this Glory…In the middle of the night, all this light, in the middle of the night, all this light here. In the middle of the night, you are majesty. In the middle of our plight came you King of Kings. While we were waiting on, for your love to come along, light rolled in… Coming like a song.

All this Glory, All this Glory, oh, All this Glory…

In the middle of the night, all this light;  in the middle of the night, all this light; in the middle of the night, oh all this light, in the middle of the night, after all this plight….

JESUS, GOD WITH US, JESUS CHRIST HAS COME, AND I’M UNDONE.”

I’ve been listening the new Passion CD, White Flag, and if you follow me on twitter, you’re probably an ex-follower, or thinking about unfollowing me, because of the 15+ times I’ve tweeted about it in the last hour. BUT, when I was listening to the song the lyrics above are from, I couldn’t help but think about the words. It talks about light coming in the darkness, and I think were surrounded by so much darkness, that sometimes, its hard to find the light. I find myself in dark places so often, in fear, in anger, in pain, and sometimes I loose my grip on reality, the reality that my future is with Christ, as I am his.

Tonight, Katie Henry mentioned a quote from a professor named Dave Moffit, who said “you can’t preach the crucifixion without the resurrection”. I LOVE the saying. So often, we find ourselves in dark places, in fear, in pain, in anguish, and it takes a lot to get out of those places, sometimes it seems like the whole world is against us. But, in that darkness, there is hope, there is light, there is Christ, leading us through the darkness, to the light at the end of the tunnel. After all, light shines best in the darkness. And it is there, even in the darkness, that the light OVERWHELMS us, in the midst of our sins, our failures,  our mishaps, our anger, our hate, our foolish desires, and our fears that we are embraced by all of his grace, and all of his Glory.

Prosperity

If you pay any attention to the “media” version of Christianity, you see people like Joel Osteen and others who preach what is often referred to as the “Prosperity Gospel”, a message based around Jeremiah 29:11. It reads “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”.  The prosperity gospel teaches that faith in God, following Christ, living as he did, accepting his grace and love means that we will prosper, that we will receive more than just his Grace and Love, that on earth, we will be blessed with riches, with power, with whatever it may be that is deemed prosperous.

Now, scripture seems to show different things about this. Look at Paul, a man who preached the gospel with everything he was, who went after the Jews, the Gentiles, the loved, the unloved, the powerful, the poor; he was the same guy who was Jailed and beaten and stoned for his faith and what he preached. In a worldly view, his story doesn’t seem to prosperous. How about we look at Christ, the son of God, the Messiah. Born in a manger, he lived as a carpenter, then he traveled with no money, no possessions, sleeping where he could find someone to let him in their home, all while he preached the redemption of mankind. Then he died on a cross, on a tree amongst sinners for crimes he didn’t commit. He was an innocent man who died another's death. In a worldly view, it doesn’t seem to prosperous. 

Now, what I’m about to say is going to be a little out of the box, but keep reading, and you’ll see what I’m trying to say. I wholeheartedly believe in the prosperity gospel. BUT, that said, the prosperity gospel I believe in is not the same as that of the modern media. I believe, that when you fully dedicate your heart and your life to Christ, you will prosper, because of one thing and one thing only. Gods plan for you. He has a plan for each of our lives, something unique to each of us, like our fingerprint or our DNA. He has something special in mind, something special in our story that is part of his story, something that is his. And to me, living in the plans that he has created for me, living my story as a part of his is the most fulfilling thing that I could imagine. Where do people prosper? When they are happy, when they are fulfilled. Paul came alive by being unashamed of spreading the gospel, something he did with everything he was, no matter how wild life got, or how painful it could be. He found joy, he found potential, he found fulfillment in proclaiming Christ. In a similar way, I prosper by living my story, I prosper by living the story that God made just for me. I believe that when you live the life that he designed for you to live, you are living life to the FULLEST.

Valor.

Definition: strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness : personal bravery.

This past week, I went to see the new live action Navy Seal movie Act of Valor. The movie is a near accurate depiction featuring actual Navy Seals on missions to defend our country from both foreign and domestic threats. I went into the movie expecting my mind to be blown, to be amazed, to be shocked by the action. I was. What I didn’t expect though, is to be moved, and to be touched by the movie. I left, as I usually do after an action movie expecting someone to try to kill me as I walked to my car and for my life to suddenly change, and for me to be some sick nasty Navy Seal shooting a M-4 or 50-cal.  It didn’t. Instead, I left in near tears, as I saw the funeral of a Seal who intentionally died to protect his fellow soldiers. I left feeling indebted to those who go “downrange” daily, risking their lives to defend the country in which I live, and the people I live life with. I left feeling more proud than I ever have of the country in which I live.

Our country is flawed. Every country is flawed, because people are flawed. Democrats, republicans, independents, liberals, radicals, all of them are flawed. But, what they share is an allegiance to the flag of the country that has men fighting daily to protect it. Regardless of your political, religious, and other affiliations, we are all part of a country that men and women have died to make and keep free. My hope is that one day, it will truly be free, that we will get over our differences, and our disagreements, and that people will no longer live apart, but live as one. My hope is that all people, will be proud of the country in which they live.

My best friend is a man of Valor. My best friend is currently serving on the USS Abraham Lincoln, stationed somewhere halfway across the world defending freedom. As I set here and write this, he is currently working, doing things you and I will never have the courage to do, doing things you and I may never actually know have been done. He is working to protect you and me, and for this I am eternally grateful. Cameron Waardenburg is one of the greatest men I have ever met, one of the greatest men I have ever been able to live life with, and I am more than privileged to sit here today writing this, as he is half a world away defending me. And for that, I am forever grateful.

Matt.

 

"Golf Balls"

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"

"the lull"

Not sure if you're like me, but I struggle. A lot. When I lose a battle, or when I screw up, it's usually in one of those "it's not an if he'll screw up, but it's a matter of when he'll screw up" situations. So, if you're like me, after the battle is lost, or after I screw up, I feel like if I go to church or sing a worship song or something along those lines I'm out of place, I'm not welcome or something like that. I call it "the lull". Last night, worship was off the chain at Grace's youth group. Full band, music loud, intense songs, dark room, the stage lights moves and changed with the songs, and the kids got into it. And because I've lost battles recently, I didn't get into it as much as I really wanted. I wanted so bad to buy shut my eyes, sing loud without caring his u sounded and raise hands high and abandon it all, but I felt held back by my own shortcomings. In small group though, we prayed, and I heard words that changes it all. I'm forgiven, and all I have to do is ask. My price has been paid. And now I'm free.

The Hardest Things

Sometimes, telling a friend the truth is the hardest thing to do, even if you really really want to.

Mimicking

It's kind of nuts, when you watch a tv show or a movie or something and it goes along so well with what's going on in your life. I was watching scrubs today while trying not to hate myself for putting my body though skiing yesterday, and in the episode, JD, the main character was talking about how hard it can be to speak what you're really feeling in certain situations, even though you think it's needed, and how easy it can be to feel alone, even in the midst of a crowd or a lot of people, even friends. Not sure what it means at all, just interesting I guess. Life's full of ups and downs, just gotta stay positive and keep your eyes open

Fear, and the lack thereof

I'm sitting in my car next to the Observation Deck at RDU airport, the place I used to go to most often when I needed to clear my head or when I was upset or needed to think (and admittedly still do). Its pouring out, and I'm still foolishly considering going to stand outside to watch the planes come in, but I'm only here for a short while while I'm waiting to pick up pops.

I watched most of "Fruitcake and Ice Cream" earlier, a talk by Giglio from Passion World Tour 08'. If you haven 't seen it, you need to. It's an inspiring sermon on Grace, with an incredibly powerful story at the end about someone accepting grace for the first time. In his Sermon, Giglio talks about the perceived moment when we arrive at "the pearly gates", where people think they're going to be scared, while waiting to be judges, while waiting for the doorman to look over everything from our earthly lives, and to make a decision on if we can step across or not. It seems silly, for people who accept and know grace to think such things, but he makes a valid point... We live in fear, no matter how strong our faith is. (correct me if I'm wrong)...

I think about the number of times I came out here during my last relationship when I was so scared it was going to end, and the number of times I came out here after it did. I think about the number of times I was out here when trying to figure out what to do for college. I think about the number of times I've been out here in the past year, afraid of this and that. Sitting here now, I have so much to be afraid of, and ironically I find myself back at the observation deck. But, this time, I'm not afraid. I know that I'll lhave troubles, confusion, pain, helplessness, and hurt, but I know that standing at those pearly gates is Christ. And I don't have to be afraid anymore. All of this stuff, this crap that goes on, he dealt with it already. He bore it all, so that I don't have to lie in fear.

I'm still sitting here; and I'm going to eat my Chickfila now before it gets cold, and before my shake melts.

Don't be afraid. He lives. He has won.

You have set him on fire….

FINALLY. this post is here! maybe long- anticipated, maybe not. It’s here regardless.

At Passion, I met a guy named Jordan. Jordan’s a haircutting mastermind, and also the man. Dude says he used to “spend Grace”, but as I watched him at Passion, sitting through Giglio, Piper, Chan and worship with Hall, Crowder, Redman, Stanfill,  and Tomlin, I watched literally as this guy had his “Road to Damascus” interruption.

From what I know, he’s known all his life about faith, and his dad (also a mastermind with scissors) has been an incredible influence, but after a successful open heart surgery session, and then Passion, Jordan has literally been ON FIRE in his faith. Video after video, small group after small group, study after study, and many different times of diving into the word. I’m overwhelmed. It’s INCREDIBLE to watch, to see a friend completely giving it his all.

He’s got this passion you don’t see in people anymore. Unashamed, he makes his choices as if he were Paul, BAFFLING his friends with his determination and love of the father. And if you’re lucky enough to know him, you know he gives everything to Christ, and will tell you how sure he is that everything that has happened in the past has led to that moment, as just a part of his story, a story that’s been orchestrated from birth by the God who created him. He’s an inspiration. And I’m blessed to know him.

You have set him on fire...

Coming Soon...

Grace like Rain.

So over the past few blogs, I’ve realized how blessed I am. How much at fault we are, how much grace we need.

Last night, during youth group, Sass talked about Choices, and the choices we make, and how we are new creations, and need to let go of our old selves, and be free to make new choices. In the crowd, there were leaders, there were volunteers, there were students, and there were even students who had come from the funeral of a friend a few hours before. There were broken people. There were people in need of Grace. A few minutes into his talk, I could hear the rain POURING on the roof.

With all of the stuff that has happened this past week, with all of the heartache, and the darkness that has set over this area, the rain was a relief, the rain was needed. As I heard the roar of the rain, all I could think about were the lyrics from the Todd Agnew song “Grace like Rain”.

“And hallelujah,Grace Like Rain falls down on me,
And hallelujah, And all my stains are washed away -
They're washed away...”

When heartache comes, when darkness falls, when hope seems lost, when it gets to the point that we can no longer see through the stains that cloud our vision, the stains that bring us guilt, the stains that hold us down, Grace like Rain comes, and washes us clean.

Think about rain. Usually, when it rains, it’s a crappy day, its sometimes colder out, its dark, its muggy, its gloomy, but after the rain comes, its clean, its bright, its beautiful. Grace like rain washes away the crap, all the brokenness, all the pain, and shows the beauty beneath.

It takes a village.

I’ve been thinking tonight about the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”, and how that saying applies to the mess that has hit N. Raleigh this past week.

I’ve been thinking about how many people are blaming the driver for the accident, and how un-whole that truth is. Yes, he was the driver of the vehicle, but he alone is not at fault. She too, was at fault. Every student that was at that party and did not stop them was at fault. The owners of the house the party was at were at fault, for either being so oblivious as to what was going on, or for not caring. His parents and hers are at fault, for not knowing what their children were up to, or for not stopping them if they knew (yes, I know that they probably didn’t expect the outcome). I am at fault. You are at fault. WE ARE ALL AT FAULT.

You might be thinking to yourself now: “Matt, how am I at fault, I didn’t even know her”. This is what I have to say about that: If you are living, and I assume that you are if you are physically reading this, then you are a member of a society that is becoming increasingly ok with stuff like this happening. (and by increasingly ok, I mean there have been numerous alcohol related deaths in Wake County High School Teens in the last 5 years, and they continue to happen without any major repercussion or societal change). We as a society are becoming immune to the pain and suffering that happens crash after crash, death after death. Our village is not raising our children well.

I understand the argument that some people have while growing up, or while raising their children, that our teens need some freedom, that we should let them make mistakes, because that’s how they learn, and they need the freedom to make their own decisions, and the freedom to grow up. I agree with that statement partially: I agree that we as young people need to be able to make decisions on our own, because that is how we learn. But, I find one problem with the overall argument, and that is in our definition of freedom. The majority of our High School students are finding freedom in a bottle, in a pipe, in the plant inside a rolled up piece of paper, in a needle, in a pill, in a bedroom. THAT IS NOT FREEDOM. That is simply bondage to the destructive ways of the society that we live in. You want freedom? Make the choice to not follow the path of your peers, the path of the bottle, the path of the pill, the path of the joint, or of the bong, or of the bedroom. You want freedom? Ignore what CNN, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Lady GaGa, Michael Jackson, Yahoo, Polo Ralph Lauren, Little Wayne, Cover Girl, American Eagle, ESPN, People Magazine, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Elle, Obama, Louie Giglio, Francis Chan, Donald Miller, John Piper, Chris Tomlin, Passion 268 and society are saying to you. Wait, ignore what I’m saying too.

Open your Bible. Read the words given by God. Read the words written by a God who sent his son to die so that you, me, Garrett Prince, Liz Molloy, CNN, YouTube, Facebook Twitter, Lady GaGa, Michael Jackson, Yahoo, Polo Ralph Lauren, Little Wayne, Cover Girl, American Eagle, ESPN, People Magazine, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Elle, Obama, Louie Giglio, Francis Chan, Donald Miller, John Piper, Chris Tomlin, and Passion 268 would not be bound by the ways of the society that we live in.

Then, go into all the nations. and set the captives free.

When Will We Learn?

I sit here today, curious. It is becoming increasingly normal in our High Schools for students to die because of choices they and fellow students make. It breaks my heart every time, and yet I find myself preparing my heart for it to happen again. Year after year, crash after crash, alcohol, parties, and drugs are behind numerous student deaths. Its becoming a pattern.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sad about everything that has happened this past week at Millbrook. It breaks my heart. But why?

When will we learn? How many more students have to die? How many more lives have to be shattered for our students to care enough about themselves, to care enough about each other to BREAK the pattern of death and destruction.

Let the light come into the darkness. Let there be hope, let there be freedom. Let there be life.

A Saddened Heart

I write this with a saddened heart. Saturday, a young woman was killed. While intoxicated, she left a party in a vehicle driven by a young man, who was also very intoxicated. Though people at the party are rumored to have called the police letting them know that someone was driving drunk, the young man eventually drove on Rainwater road, going almost 40 miles an hour over the speed limit, where he lost control of his vehicle, and crashed into a tree. His passenger was killed.

Elisabeth Molloy, a student at Millbrook High School lost her life in the crash, while Garrett Prince, a fellow student survived, and is charged with 7 felonies, including felony death by motor vehicle.

I cant even imagine what it must be like to be a student at Millbrook this week, how hard it may be. Such sadness, such heart break, such darkness.

At Passion, we talked about Freedom. I think about slavery, and bondage, and the type of Freedom that one needs. Now I think about the darkness that this generation is in, the fear that they live in, the bondage to drugs, and alcohol, and sex that they live in, and how easy it is to get into a lifestyle, and how hard it is to get out. Sometimes were not willing to make choices that will better our lives, sometimes were not willing to make choices that will set us free. Sometimes, what we perceive to be freedom, what we perceive is a casual lifestyle is actually a lifestyle that holds us in Bondage, a lifestyle with no room to live as we are called.

In this darkness, in this sadness, in this pain, in this anger, I pray that the darkness will flee, that the light will spring forth into it, and that the darkness will not be able to hide. I pray that in this time, that people will be led to Christ, that they will be led to a life that is healthy, a life that is not bonded to worldly things, a life that is free.

Rise up.

It is dark. It is cold. It is nearly silent, the only discernable noises coming from the bone chilling wind blowing through the plaza. Nearly 45,000 people huddle together, some in small groups, other in large groups, trying to stay warm. The dark shadow of a hand shaped sculpture reaches up into the sky, but it is dark, and it is hopeless.

The clocks strike Midnight. Suddenly, a flicker of light appears, and a candle is lit. Then another, then another. One by one, candles are lit, and like wildfire, the light spreads.

In the midst of a sea of light, the hand, once dark, once hopeless, is brilliantly and blindingly illuminated, and in an instant, there is hope.

A deafening roar erupts out of the masses. Shouts of freedom, songs of praise.

The hand that once stood alone, the hand that once stood dark and hopeless, representing the nearly 27 Million people still without hope, still alone, still enslaved now SHINES brilliantly. As a sign to the city of Atlanta, as a sign to the United States of America, as a sign to the World that there is HOPE, that there is FREEDOM, the hand shines. As a sign to the believers, as a sign to the unbelievers, as a sign to those without hope, the hand shines. As a sign to the darkness, that the light is coming, as a sign to the enslaved that they WILL BE FREE, the light shines.

In less than 4 days, nearly 44,000 broke, couch for coin searching college students, in combination with a few thousand staff, door holders, and people watching online raised THREE MILLION and SIXTY SIX THOUSAND dollars to donate to organizations that educate, rescue, and rehabilitate those at risk of being in the slave trade and those once victims of the slave trade, the slave trade that is larger now than at any other time in the history of humanity.

This generation has spoken. This generation has risen. This generation will not stand for injustice, for bondage, for slavery. This generation has risen, and is taking a stand. Will you?

Lost in Freedom

I'm currently a short while from downtown Atlanta, and just put on "Love like a Lion" from Passion 2010. I'm thinking about this years Freedom cause, and the funds that will be raise to get rid of Freedom this week. One of the lines of the song is "I'm lost in your freedom, from this world I've overcome". How awesome is it that we find ourselves lost in freedom, and are called and able to help others become free! I can't wait for this incredible weekend to start, and for lives to be changed, and to find myself lost deeper in Freedom.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Over this past weekend, we heard a few stories about trouble some missionaries face while in the field. Gangs, violence, and fear face missionaries every day, and often these predicaments and dangers cause many a missionary to either leave the field, or to not go at all, and in certain circumstances, such hesitance is necessary. However, a conversation that I had while yesterday made me rethink my idea of missions abroad, and how I live life here at home, but most of all, it made me think of Freedom, and what I wrote about it a few days ago.(Check it out)

“What’s the worst that could happen?… such a powerful question. What is the worst? Death. Death is probably what most people would conceive as the worst possible thing to happen. One of my favorite songs is “You’re Beautiful” by Phil Wickham, and part of the song says:

“When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing”

When we arrive at eternities shore, where death is just a memory, and tears are no more… impressive views. Death is a scary thing. It means leaving home, leaving everything we know, all the people we love, BUT, it also means arriving at eternities shore.

What would happen, if we lived our life without the fear of Death, without fear of anything at all. We should be careful, whether we are serving abroad or at home, but what if we lived our life and didn’t let fear, didn’t let suffering, didn’t let anyone, or anything hold us back from FREEDOM, freedom to live life with Christ, as living life with Christ is life to the fullest. Think about it. Freedom.

…

“When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim My God, how great Thou art!”