"the lull"

Not sure if you're like me, but I struggle. A lot. When I lose a battle, or when I screw up, it's usually in one of those "it's not an if he'll screw up, but it's a matter of when he'll screw up" situations. So, if you're like me, after the battle is lost, or after I screw up, I feel like if I go to church or sing a worship song or something along those lines I'm out of place, I'm not welcome or something like that. I call it "the lull". Last night, worship was off the chain at Grace's youth group. Full band, music loud, intense songs, dark room, the stage lights moves and changed with the songs, and the kids got into it. And because I've lost battles recently, I didn't get into it as much as I really wanted. I wanted so bad to buy shut my eyes, sing loud without caring his u sounded and raise hands high and abandon it all, but I felt held back by my own shortcomings. In small group though, we prayed, and I heard words that changes it all. I'm forgiven, and all I have to do is ask. My price has been paid. And now I'm free.