I don't really know why I though about this today, but I was in my kitchen and remembered the day when I was in the Fish Hoek Internet Cafe in Fish Hoek South Africa, and I checked my wolf paw account to see if I had been accepted into NCSU. It was the second time I was applying, as I didn't get in the first time. This time I was really confident. I had better grades(kind of), more extra curricular, and I was a missionary in Africa! I though anyone would want me.
I remember seeing "We are sorry..." and then stopping. I took off the headset I had been using, threw out an expletive, and just stared at the computer, as Jessica and Christina looked at me. When I finally muttered "I didn't get in" it hit me. The one thing I really wanted was gone. I wasn't going to get in. To be honest, it was one of the worst feelings in the world.
Today I was a jerk to the one person who means the most to me in the world. I don't really know why, but I was. Now, the worst feeling in the world is knowing that you hurt the one person you love most. I'm such a moron. She STILL LOVES ME THOUGH. I don't really know why, I really don't know how, but i'm blessed, so blessed.
Now that I think back to the moment of denial for State, I think about how happy I am that I didn't get in. If I had, I wouldn't be living in a room full of nonsense and a tree house at my parents, I wouldn't be getting paid to do what I love- teach kids about the love of Christ, and I wouldn't be in the relationship I am today, with a Girl is drop dead gorgeous, strong in her faith, and who loves ME of all people. Thank the lord for the momentary pain and unhappiness back then. I LOVE my life. I love my girlfriend, and I LOVE my job.
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