The Modern "Church"

"Let the Glory of YOUR name be the Passion of the Church"- Chris Tomlin

The modern church... what is it?

I know first hand that the "church" isn't always what is should be. I work for a Church in Raleigh, NC. Our church has had its fair share of problems, the financial crisis has hit us hard, there has been some "unrest" among some members, which led to a tense environment. The pastor left, the search for a new pastor took more than a year, and to top if off, the interim pastor started a church as we hired our new pastor. Lots of mayhem. First, some people didn't like how long it took to find the pastor, or didn't agree with the people who were selecting the searchers, so they left. Then, alot of people didn't like the fact that another church was being started, and that some members were leaving for it.

So here is where I am-- I work for the church. my parents left for the new church... yea, awkward.

This has caused arguments between families, has made families split between two churches, and has set two bodies of Christ against each other...

So this is what I think. You should never be looked down upon for leaving a church. You have every right to go to the service at any church that fulfills your needs spiritually. You have the right to attend a youth group, or to volunteer at any church that needs your help. You have the right to attend small group at any church that helps you grow in your faith. AND, it doesn't matter if they are all the same church, or different churches. The key is that all churches focus on CHRIST, not on themselves, and that they exist for one thing and one thing alone- to help people find and grow closer to God.

I desperately want to see this, not just in my church and the churches around me, but in all churches. I pray that every church would exist for the glory of God and the glory of God alone.

The Modern "Church"

Fear

In regards to my last post, not much has changed. Its actually getting harder, the more I fall in love, the harder it is knowing that in 6 months, my love is moving. The only consolation I've found came from a song, that I find talks about love conquering.

"Oh death, where is your sting? Oh Hell, where is your victory? Oh Church, come stand in the light, our God is not dead, he's alive, he's alive"

Honesty,even when it hurts

 

The title of this blog is "the raw truth"... and that means I need to be completely honest, even with myself… and the truth is, I’m really scared.

In just about 6 months, my girlfriend leaves for UNC-W, and that means that she and I are going to be 2 hours away, not able to see each other much, not able to hang out after school, work together at youth group, drive to each others houses when something is wrong, or when we really just need each other’s company. I don’t really know what I’m feeling. I think it’s a mix of fear, panic, sadness, and I don’t even know what else. all I do know is that its not that great of a feeling. I don’t doubt at all that that’s the right place to go, and I'm praying my situation works out and allows me to go visit a lot, and then move there the next semester to finish school, but its still a huge change. I know I’m going to want to drive down every weekend and see her, and hope that she drives here when I don’t, or that we can skype all the time, and talk, and text, but I know that wont necessarily happen. We wont get to talk nearly as much, and we definitely wont get to see each other too much. And its really scary. I don’t really know exactly how I’m going to do it, how its going to be. The truth is, I love her, more than anything else in this world, and there’s a lot of times where she’s the only person I can go to, the only person who I feel safe with, and its hard knowing that the days are getting numbered, and things are really going to change.

I don’t know what to do.

Twitter…

So last night I was driving on the way home, and had a really great idea for a blog post. I forgot it. Hopefully this isn't too bad.

A few weeks ago, I signed up for twitter, but didn’t really used it. The other day however, I began to use it a lot, and now I think I'm addicted. Its pretty crazy to me to think about how easy it is to get “addicted” to something like Facebook, or your blackberry, or twitter, or something like that, and what's even more astounding to me is how much time we spend on worthless things like t. What if we spent all that time on something worthwhile, something that would bring us true joy, and ultimately bring God joy?

What if our time usually spend on Facebook, or on twitter, or on Youtube was spend in the word, or spent fulfilling the call from the end of the book of Matthew saying: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them  to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19)

That’s all for now. I'm going to go to class soon, and not pay attention, and think of something sensible and moving to write.

Another Thought.

 

I was driving on the way to work today, and had another thought. On Monday night, I spoke at the Magellan FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) about love, as it was Valentines Day. I was thinking about what to say, and in the planning of the speech, I pretty much planned multiple speeches. The one I ended up giving, however, was nothing like the ones I planned. As I stood there, I though about all of the things in life, the hardships, the struggles, and the pain we go through. As much as we say we will love someone forever, we cant guarantee that. As much as I know I am in love with my girlfriend, as as much as I know she is in love with me, and as much as I want that love to last, there's no way for me to guarantee it. Its kind of a hard thing to think about.

 

What I stressed to the students Monday was about everlasting love, love that will never fail, and love that will never go away – Gods love. No matter what were going through, and no matter how we are feeling, you will ALWAYS be loved by God. Its so hard to grasp. Its so hard to remember that no matter how many times we screw up, how often we sin, and go against the things we promised ourselves wed never do again, or say things we thought wed never say again, we do. The wildest part is that the God of the Universe forgives us, and he loves us no matter what. It’s incredible.  Ill end with one of my favorite songs of all time, “How He Loves”

“We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way'

He Loves us”

Thought Dump

1. When coming to type this, I realized that CK and I have the same blog title. weird.
2. I just downloaded Christy Nockels "Waiting Here for You" video from Passion 2011, and promptly turned it into an audio file. ITS INCREDIBLE. I cant stop listening to it.
3. Im going to bed... I should have done it hours ago, but the World wide web got me.

When I got denied from State... the second time.

I don't really know why I though about this today, but I was in my kitchen and remembered the day when I was in the Fish Hoek Internet Cafe in Fish Hoek South Africa, and I checked my wolf paw account to see if I had been accepted into NCSU. It was the second time I was applying, as I didn't get in the first time. This time I was really confident. I had better grades(kind of), more extra curricular, and I was a missionary in Africa! I though anyone would want me.

I remember seeing "We are sorry..." and then stopping. I took off the headset I had been using, threw out an expletive, and just stared at the computer, as Jessica and Christina looked at me. When I finally muttered "I didn't get in" it hit me. The one thing I really wanted was gone. I wasn't going to get in. To be honest, it was one of the worst feelings in the world.

Today I was a jerk to the one person who means the most to me in the world. I don't really know why, but I was. Now, the worst feeling in the world is knowing that you hurt the one person you love most. I'm such a moron. She STILL LOVES ME THOUGH. I don't really know why, I really don't know how, but i'm blessed, so blessed.

Now that I think back to the moment of denial for State, I think about how happy I am that I didn't get in. If I had, I wouldn't be living in a room full of nonsense and a tree house at my parents, I wouldn't be getting paid to do what I love- teach kids about the love of Christ, and I wouldn't be in the relationship I am today, with a Girl is drop dead gorgeous, strong in her faith, and who loves ME of all people. Thank the lord for the momentary pain and unhappiness back then. I LOVE my life. I love my girlfriend, and I LOVE my job.