Thought Dump

1. When coming to type this, I realized that CK and I have the same blog title. weird.
2. I just downloaded Christy Nockels "Waiting Here for You" video from Passion 2011, and promptly turned it into an audio file. ITS INCREDIBLE. I cant stop listening to it.
3. Im going to bed... I should have done it hours ago, but the World wide web got me.

When I got denied from State... the second time.

I don't really know why I though about this today, but I was in my kitchen and remembered the day when I was in the Fish Hoek Internet Cafe in Fish Hoek South Africa, and I checked my wolf paw account to see if I had been accepted into NCSU. It was the second time I was applying, as I didn't get in the first time. This time I was really confident. I had better grades(kind of), more extra curricular, and I was a missionary in Africa! I though anyone would want me.

I remember seeing "We are sorry..." and then stopping. I took off the headset I had been using, threw out an expletive, and just stared at the computer, as Jessica and Christina looked at me. When I finally muttered "I didn't get in" it hit me. The one thing I really wanted was gone. I wasn't going to get in. To be honest, it was one of the worst feelings in the world.

Today I was a jerk to the one person who means the most to me in the world. I don't really know why, but I was. Now, the worst feeling in the world is knowing that you hurt the one person you love most. I'm such a moron. She STILL LOVES ME THOUGH. I don't really know why, I really don't know how, but i'm blessed, so blessed.

Now that I think back to the moment of denial for State, I think about how happy I am that I didn't get in. If I had, I wouldn't be living in a room full of nonsense and a tree house at my parents, I wouldn't be getting paid to do what I love- teach kids about the love of Christ, and I wouldn't be in the relationship I am today, with a Girl is drop dead gorgeous, strong in her faith, and who loves ME of all people. Thank the lord for the momentary pain and unhappiness back then. I LOVE my life. I love my girlfriend, and I LOVE my job.

Passion 2011… the beginning

As I think back to Passion, I cant help to think about how convicted I felt some days. how unworthy I felt at times. how loved I felt at times. and then those thoughts about how I would overcome all temptations, attacks, stress and anything that got in the way of my walk with Christ. then I think about how much I've already failed since I’ve been home. I don’t understand it. I think back to Andy Stanley’s talk about the struggle between Esau and  Jacob. Esau’s momentary temptation and struggle got between him and God, got between him and the glory of God. and between him and the birth of all nations. I think I have a lot of bowls of stew. it seems as if I’m always hungry, looking for a momentary way to fill myself, fill myself with anything, even things of this world that chip away at my relationship with Christ. But Gods a master chef of the biggest 5 star restaurant in the world. His eternal bowl of stew far outweighs all momentary troubles.

“Therefore we do not loose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on  what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”- 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18

 

More to come.

passion

I feel like after a weekend in atl with 22,000 college kids worshiping and going insane, i should have something to say. but for some reason right now i cant get anything out. i might still be overwhelmed. itl come soon.

Without Faith, All is Lost

Last night I went to see the new Narnia movie with some guys, and I have to admit, its one of the best movies Ive seen in a long time. As some of you may know, the Narnia series is written by C.S. Lewis, a Christian who has written many books on the struggles of Christianity. In this weries, 4 siblings are whisked off to a magical land called Narnia, a place full of adventure, and a place where you find who you truly are. The land is ruled by a lion called Aslan, and the first movie in the series shows Aslan giving his life to save one of the 4 siblings, and then rising again. Sounds familiar, right? The series is much like that of the story of Christ, him giving his life for us. In this newest addition to the series, the "Voyage of the Dawn Treader", 2 of the siblings go on another joyrney, one to conquer evil, and to save eternity. Along the way they are tempted, attacked, and put through many dire situations, all to deter them from the final prize, meeting Aslan once again. Though I wont tell you the outcome of the movie, I will tell you some about it. First, it was very faith based, and has some amazing lines, most of which speak of fighting temtation, having faith, and being saved. One of my favorite lines was "we have nothing, if not belief" It was said during one of the darkest parts of the movie, where all the characters were beginning to struggle with the temptation around them. One of the charcters, a small mouse spoke up, and said that though the people around may have been having trouble understanding and believing, without belief, there is nothing. My own personal translation of this is that without faith, without belief, all is lost. Everyday we struggle with decisions, and everyday we struggle with the battle of if were going to give our whole day to God. The smallest character in the movie said it all. Without faith, we are lost. Without belief in God, without our trust in him to back us up, no matter what situation we are in, we have nothing.

We have nothing, if not belief.

"Never Again" The Challenge

Men are born men, with strong sexual urges and desires, and living in the world we're in today, its REALLY hard to ignore those urges, however as Christians, were called to. We know were supposed to save sex until marriage, not lust, be respectful towards women, respect their bodies, and our own, and live our lives free of sexual immorality. It sounds easy, but we all (guys and girls) know its not. How then?

Today, some of my brothers and I made a pact, and were calling it a challenge I guess. Through some conversation with the Champion himself (Jordan Sasser) and the thought of a previous conversation behind us, some male friends and I are on a quest towards complete sexual purity. We've picked up a book called "Every Man's Battle", a book about how to, as Christian Men, navigate our way through lust, immoral sexual desires, relationships, and through the rough waters of the media around us. We will be reading this book, looking for ways to help grow closer to God and how to live completely pure of Sexual desires and lustful thoughts and actions. Though we know we cannot avoid the temptation and the desires for sex, we are studying to completely ignore those nagging feelings and urges, and to live a life sin free and for God. If theres any guys out there who are wanting to take the Challenge with us, let us know.

PLEASE PRAY. this is going to be an increasingly hard topic to learn about, and we could all use prayer as we look to lead lives free of all sexual desires, and look to live a life with God in mind.

Thanks, Matt

Slow Down

Its been a hectic last few weeks, to say the least. Finals, tests, end of semester, projects, work, youth group, all of its piling up, and lately ive been having alot of trouble finding time for God. Even at youth group, I feel like im running around so much, I dont really get the chance to worship. Its been wearing down pretty hard on me, and today on the way home, I realized that now more than ever I need to find time for God. My time of struggle is when im most open to his word, and to his change

"Oh, im running to your arms, im running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough"

On a side note, my girlfriends a UNCW Seahawk now. Im so proud and so lucky to have such an awesome gal.