A few nights ago, I hung out with a bunch of good friends, got coffee with them, hung out at the Church with them, and among them was Jordan Sasser, and his wife Alex. It’s kind of crazy, actually, though, for those of you reading this who know them, you also know they are kind of crazy too! You see, Alex and I went to middle (I think) and High School together, and if any of you know me or know my story, then you know who I am today is not at all who I really was at Enloe. I didn’t party, I didn’t drink, but I also didn’t live the life I was called to. I was a jerk, I was outlandish and ridiculous (though I still am today), but most of what I did was act like a moronic High School kid with little respect for anyone, including himself. I mocked people, joked around, cursed, occasionally skipped a class to go get a good meal with some friends, drove way too fast, did stupid things off road, and had a generally unsafe time, all the while maintanining a “good kid” reputation with most people I knew, especially those who I went to church with. Now senior year of high school, I had a group of 5-8 guys I hung out with everyday, we went to lunch together, and did all of the insane things I listed above together, and other than myself, only one of them I knew to be a believer. He, like myself was different at school than he was outside of school. But, for a short while, he dated Alex, and in his relationship with her senior year, I see how truly sad I was. Not depressed sad, but the kind of sad where people look at you and scratch their heads and wonder what went wrong sad. I was scared to be me, even around Alex, who never strayed from her faith, and even around Kyle, who was like me, trying to find a way to be himself all the time.
Skip ahead a few years. I’ve forgotten about my shenanigans from Senior year, am now working at Grace, trying to live a better life, and doing ok at it, lived in Africa as a missionary, and am around someone who knew my dark secrets from High School- that I wasn’t who I said I was, and lived life in doubles. As she and Jordan got married, I was able to worship in the same room as them, and see her for who she truly was, and be myself. But, a few nights ago, I finally experienced freedom.
It was late, most people had left Grace, and all that remained was Jordan, Alex, Josiah, Katie Hemp, and myself. After a few goodbyes, Jordan, Alex, Jo Jo and I all wound our way back into grace hall, where Katie was playing on the piano. From there, we hung our for an hour, maybe two, I don’t really know, and I watched and joined in as Jordan and Katie and Alex and Josiah sung, and played, and worshiped, and there, in the moments in a dimly lit room, singing praises to the one who gives us ultimate freedom. I couldn’t help but smile, as Katie busted out some tunes on the piano, as Jordan and Alex and Josiah sang, and as I leaned back against the wall sitting on a stool, watching, and seeing freedom right in front of me, and couldn’t help but grin, as I joined into worship with them, and with him, free at last.
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