My Story

This past weekend, I was privileged enough to be able to tell my story in front of all of our youth on Fall Retreat. It was an honor to be able to tell the story of how my life has been shaped, molded, and formed into what it is today. We stressed the importance of what our stories are, how they fit into the overall story of God, and how they help shape the stories of others.

Last night, I was catching up on some reading that I’ve had stacked up, and came across the following in the book written by Donald Miller; A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: “If I have a hope, its that God sat over a dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.”

Tonight, I was also lucky enough to be a guest at the annual Eastern FCA Fundraiser Banquet. An old MLB player spoke about his story, and how God used the Good, Bad, and Ugly to shape and mold him into who he is today, and to show him that only he (God) stays constant in our stories.

Though I’ve had a pretty strong feeling that I will have something to do with Youth Ministry, either in the form of work or volunteering or something of the sort, there has always been a small doubt, because its hard to really know. This weekend, combined with the past few days, has completely opened my eyes. After I spoke this weekend, Sass came up to me and told me that he and I needed to talk, and that I was a Youth Pastor. Seeing as he called Casey Prince’s future pretty accurately, including wife and career, I’m somewhat inclined to believe him. But people can tell you anything. Even people who are very believable, people who are very persuasive, or influential, you cant always trust. But tonight, sitting here typing this, and thinking about my story, and how God has lined up a billion different moments to get me to this point, and has lined up billions of different moments to get other people places, I have absolutely no doubts that that is what I’m supposed to do. Granted, I still have a lot of work to actually get there, but I’m so comforted to know that I know where my life is going. and its not because of me. its because of how my story just fits in to a bigger story. I’m trying to say I LOVE MY LIFE. I LOVE how he has created it. I’m so thankful for it.

The lost sheep, and our definitions of love

This morning, our Pastor John had the day off, and a familiar face, Tim Condor came and filled in for him. He spoke about the gospel, and about our “elevator stories”, or the things that we tell random people in elevators, like our profession, maybe what we believe, if we’re being bold, and maybe even who we root for in College Sports. Then he spoke about the lost sheep, and God’s unending, passionate, stupidly risky, undeniable love for us.

Then he asked the question: “What is your definition of love?”

For us to imagine how the creator of the Universe and our Savior loves us, we must first understand love. It makes sense, right?

Lately, I’ll admit, I haven't been feeling it. I haven't felt like I’ve been overcome by Grace, or full of the Spirit, in fact, I’ve felt far from it at times. I haven’t felt like I had been abandoned by God, but I’ve been thinking a lot about where that feeling has gone, you know, the one that you get when in his presence, and full of his spirit, during worship, or when you read something that blows your mind, or hear a powerful speaker, or just have one of those God-moments. Today, I think I figured it out, and hopefully its something that stays with me for a while.

For a long time, I thought I knew what love was, I was in love, I felt loved, I thought everything was ok. But one day that all turned around, and that love that I thought I knew was gone, it had left rather abruptly (at least it seemed it for me). My idea of love was changed. It had once been thing feeling, knowing there was always someone there, loving me (yes, I know I used the word in its definition, get over it) to something that would leave over no fault of my own. In the past months, I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotion, feeling at times like maybe I had found it again, only to once again realize that love, or even loving feelings and emotions were fleeting and quick to leave me. It took Tim today to show me that even though it makes more logical sense for the shepherd to stay with the 99 if I fall away from the flock, or if I doubt, or if I weep, or if I struggle, he will always be there for me, to pick me up, throw me on his shoulders (gently, I hope), and bring he home to the rest of the flock rejoicing.

There’s one thing that remains: his love for us.

Newsworthy

I went to Yahoo today, and headlining article is “What Gaga wore when she met Obama”. Seriously? The most important news article on one of the most visited websites in the country shows that the most important thing in the happenings of the world is what Lady GaGa wore when she met the president. More important than the MILLIONS of starving men, women, and children in the world. More important than the Genocide occurring right now in Sudan. More important than the wildly flawed poverty line in our country. More important than the thousands of homeless living in our country. Ridiculous. Why don’t we get real about what is important: death, starvation, genocide, poverty, pain, struggle, homelessness, and the few million people who have never heard the Gospel.

AKA The Bible

For youth group, we just ordered a bunch of new bibles, so that students with out can have one, and so there are some to use on Sunday nights. Both the front and back of these Bibles have a small message on them…

Check out the front:

“a BIG book that’s really a bunch of little books telling the story of the creator, creation, [UN]creation and NEW-creation, AKA the BIBLE”

pretty cool right? but turn it over, and here is what its all about:

“The Bible is the true story of God and his plan to se the world right again. It began many years ago in a garden where there was life and peace. No bitterness or pain or lying or loss. Just a beautiful relationship between the Creator God and his creation.

The story is headed toward another garden, this time in a city. The new garden will be even better than the original. Gardens, cities, people relationships – everything in creation – healed.

This collection of books tells the story between those gardens. Humans rejected the Creator, bringing death and wrongdoing into the world. But the creator didn’t give up. He was committed to the story, and he was committed to redemption.

So the Creator did something unexpected…”

How AWESOME is that?

WHO am I? WHO are you?

Last week at youth group, Katie spoke on coming face to face with Christ, and last night, I spoke about coming face to face with yourself. It was a pretty in depth talk, one that I used personal examples to explain. Because of how deep it got, and how open I was with the past few months of my life, ill admit it got pretty hard at times, which is why I want to also write about it.

The big question is, who are we? When we look at ourselves, and are completely honest, the truth is it can get pretty rough. Often times, when we are asked who we are, we often define ourselves by our occupation, or hobbies, our talents, or the things around us. Most often, this is called our Identity. When I looked at my life, and was honest, it was clear that my identity was found most in 3 specific things. When I turned 18, I got a car from my parents, and it became my prized possession. I washed it all the time, I worked on it all the time, and it became part of who I was to myself and my friends. I drove the corolla. While I was living away from home, I fell in love and started dating an incredibly beautiful and sweet girl named Caroline. I lived my life for her, going to all of her tennis matches, trying to see her every day, bought lots of things, and every decision I made about money, my schooling, my schedule, the things I did, said, wore became somehow connected to my relationship with her, I loved her with everything I was. About the same time, I met a guy named cam, one who was my housemate at COH. He and I became best of buds, we hung out, we did stupid things together, worked on our cars together, hung out with our girl friends together. I found my identity in him as well.

In all of this, I still had faith. But, with everything else going on, I wasn’t focusing on my faith, I didn’t look to it as much of a part of my identity as I did in my car, girl, and best friend. Though I believed, and didn’t doubt, my faith became less and less.

The things we find our identity in are often the things we think will last the longest. We think that the things we put effort into, time into, will last and so we find who we are as people in them. We build our life around those things. The funny thing is (and this is where I start to get choked up), we are completely wrong. In a split second, the car we put so much effort into is not a pile of smoking wreckage. In a few words, the heart that once loved with all that it was becomes  broken and alone. And after a few tears and a hug, your best friend is getting on a boat to go halfway around the world in the Navy during wartime.

The question becomes, who are you now? Everything you found your identity in is now gone? Where now do you find your identity? For me, the constant presence and pushing of faith and Christ became my identity. Ephesians 43 1-4 (The Message) say this:

^1-4 But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
   the One who got you started, Israel:
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
   I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
   When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
   it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
   The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
   all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
   That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
   trade the creation just for you.

How incredible is that!? God called me by name. I am his. It doesn’t matter what other things come and go, he will always be there, for I am his. and I choose to find my identity in him.

Where is the Love?

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the world trade center. Nearly 3000 people, most of them “innocent” died in 4 total attacks, two on the World Trade Centers in New York, one attack in Washington DC, at the Pentagon, and a final attack, presumably meant for another destination in Washington DC that was thwarted by the brave men and women on board, sadly to crash in a field in Pennsylvania.

Yesterday, as our Nation and the world mourned, remembering the lives lost that day, and remembering the lives of those who have fought for our freedom both before and after the attacks, I couldn’t help but be depressed. Over the past weeks, I’ve read articles, listened to stories, and watched hours of video about the attacks, and those who perished in them. Yesterday, as I watched footage of brave men and women-firefighters, EMS, police, and civilians sprinting towards the towers, even as they fell, sprinting in to save someone, to help someone.  I thought of the families, the friends who are now without them, but I also thought of the families, the friends, the children of those who are still alive, because of those who gave their lives. Those men and women are heroes, but those men and women are also examples- examples of true unblemished love.

From someone who has loved, and recently lost love, nothing strikes my emotions more than true love. Nothing stirs my heart like someone willing to risk it all for someone that they have never met, someone that they may never know, risk it all because though there may be no hope, there is love.

It saddens me to see hundreds of posts, of articles, of videos, and news stories about hate, and anger,of war, and of violence. Republicans and Democrats, Whites and Blacks, Men and Women, Sunni’s and Shiites, Christians and Muslims fighting over what? Most of the time, I feel like we fight over NOTHING. We fight just to fight. We don’t know what the other person believes, but we call them our enemy nonetheless. It saddens me to think that there is hate because of misunderstanding. True Islam stands for the same things Christianity stands for- love, peace, hope. Republicans and Democrats are the same, people, all of whom make mistakes and get things wrong. Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, and every other nationality or race are all human.

If we truly want to take a day to remember those who lost their lives 10 years ago, we aught to remember the sacrifices many of them made, the sacrifices many make today. We aught to remember the Ultimate Sacrifice that was made for us, for us to have hope, for us to have love, for us to have eternal life. And we aught to love. Love ourselves, love our friends, love our families, love our enemies. Just love.

The Calm Before the Storm

10 years ago today, America was bustling. Children were getting to school, businesses were starting the week, yet little did everyone know it was a week that would change the course of history.