I should be dead.

As many of you know, this past week, I got into a pretty nasty wreck, and totaled my car. When I got out of it, right after the wreck, I didn’t think it was that bad, but the more I look at the car, the more I realize it’s a miracle I managed to get out of it alive, much less without a scratch or broken bone or anything.

I’ve struggled a lot lately, wondering why some things have been occurring in my life, where its taking me, and what really is going on. Today, I was able to take a step out of my hectic life and see something incredibly beautiful as my good friends Jordan and Alex were married. Their one wish for the ceremony was that it would be all for Gods glory, and it truly was, it was an incredible time of worship. Towards the end of the service, Jordan sang a song called “You’re Beautiful” by Phil Wickham, and its been on my mind and my heart.

After getting out of a long relationship about 2 months ago, my mind and my heart have been longing and craving to be in love again, to be loved, and to be filled with love. The song Jordan sang is a love song, not to his new bride, but to his God, and its caused a pretty intense realization in my mind; I’ve been looking in the wrong place for love. My God is beckoning, and calling to me with his love, for me to be wrapped in it, for me to be consumed by it, for me to bask in it and his greatness. Listening to Jordan sing his love song has started to stir in me something I haven't felt in time, an intense desire to be consumed by my God. As someone who works for the Church, and someone who tries to lead others in Christ its hard to struggle in your own faith while trying to lead others in theirs, but God meets us where we are, he loves us where we are, and he is with us always, walking with us, and keeping us safe. The fact that I'm able to type this, uninjured after destroying my car is a testament to how great and how powerful and how amazing he is. I’m going through all sorts of emotions and things in my head, but the one thing that hasn’t left my head all day is how blessed I am, to be able to fall in love again and again with a God who has never left me, and a God whose love has no end.

Matt