Last week at youth group, Katie spoke on coming face to face with Christ, and last night, I spoke about coming face to face with yourself. It was a pretty in depth talk, one that I used personal examples to explain. Because of how deep it got, and how open I was with the past few months of my life, ill admit it got pretty hard at times, which is why I want to also write about it.
The big question is, who are we? When we look at ourselves, and are completely honest, the truth is it can get pretty rough. Often times, when we are asked who we are, we often define ourselves by our occupation, or hobbies, our talents, or the things around us. Most often, this is called our Identity. When I looked at my life, and was honest, it was clear that my identity was found most in 3 specific things. When I turned 18, I got a car from my parents, and it became my prized possession. I washed it all the time, I worked on it all the time, and it became part of who I was to myself and my friends. I drove the corolla. While I was living away from home, I fell in love and started dating an incredibly beautiful and sweet girl named Caroline. I lived my life for her, going to all of her tennis matches, trying to see her every day, bought lots of things, and every decision I made about money, my schooling, my schedule, the things I did, said, wore became somehow connected to my relationship with her, I loved her with everything I was. About the same time, I met a guy named cam, one who was my housemate at COH. He and I became best of buds, we hung out, we did stupid things together, worked on our cars together, hung out with our girl friends together. I found my identity in him as well.
In all of this, I still had faith. But, with everything else going on, I wasn’t focusing on my faith, I didn’t look to it as much of a part of my identity as I did in my car, girl, and best friend. Though I believed, and didn’t doubt, my faith became less and less.
The things we find our identity in are often the things we think will last the longest. We think that the things we put effort into, time into, will last and so we find who we are as people in them. We build our life around those things. The funny thing is (and this is where I start to get choked up), we are completely wrong. In a split second, the car we put so much effort into is not a pile of smoking wreckage. In a few words, the heart that once loved with all that it was becomes broken and alone. And after a few tears and a hug, your best friend is getting on a boat to go halfway around the world in the Navy during wartime.
The question becomes, who are you now? Everything you found your identity in is now gone? Where now do you find your identity? For me, the constant presence and pushing of faith and Christ became my identity. Ephesians 43 1-4 (The Message) say this:
1-4 But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
How incredible is that!? God called me by name. I am his. It doesn’t matter what other things come and go, he will always be there, for I am his. and I choose to find my identity in him.
